Second thoughts

Learn to live the way of Your life, to live the life of the Way. 

You know what the Way is, but there are always opportunities in life when you choose to follow your second thoughts or to react according to what you know from before and even imagine is going to Be. You know it because sometimes you don't feel like you're following anything, but just :

Go With The Flow  

The Way is freedom from the mind's paranoid and overreacting thoughts, the second thoughts. They always get distorted by either something from your past or some possible future that you imagine. You would also be freed from most reactions that are not natural, coming from some kind of panic and frustration which derived from the ancient survival instinct of the early man.

You must agree that this panic and this frustration are in fact illusions of the mind, because the early man would only be considered as man when he would start to show signs of having intelligence, a mind. And that mind would be something new, with no experience and knowledge. You would see lightning in the sky and project your early mind's thoughts upon it, to find that you are weak and by far unable to resist its strength. This would be the result of panic. Then you would see it again another time, flashing and roaring immediately after, and imagine that some kind of unseen power, something greater than man, is wielding it. This would be the result of frustration.

The Way is learning that nothing is in any way under control in life. This way, illusions and random thoughts that you usually take for granted are revealed to be just what happened to cross your mind at one point. It was merely the way your mind dealt with the situation it was facing or processed that would happen sometime later. Then you don't get stuck on them. For example, you don't think about it when you are in love with someone and you say the words, because they're not real if you do. This feeling doesn't come from thinking and most of the times you don't listen to your mind when you have it and do stupid things or sacrifices for it. On the other hand, if you hate someone, then you definitely have some thoughts on the matter and they're pissing you off, frustrating you. You also hate them because they've somehow made you feel insecure or even frightened you, making you panic.

The Way is also just a word, a concept of the mind. And when you think about it, you're doing it wrong!

Caught in between

     There's something wrong with my heart. It used to be that I would follow and pursue a certain feeling that is only properly felt with it. It's pretty hard to describe it in simple words, but they are what help us send out our message to others. It used to be that whenever I'd have this feeling in my heart, I would suddenly be reminded that I'm alive and that life's something amazing. No matter what thoughts I had at that moment, they would bring me both joy and sorrow, a mixed emotion deriving from them and coming straight from my heart, as if all the vibrations of the world would surge through me like some kind of energy, boundless energy.
     I used to have this feeling catch me unprepared and off guard often times as a kid. Whether it came from watching a great movie that would turn up to have a sad ending or simply listening to some music and a specific tune would come up and simply reach into that hidden place within the heart, creating water into my eyes and an incredible amount of emotions to go with the package, so that I would just bask in them. But that's just naming a couple of the things that gave me that feeling. Because..
     There's something wrong with my heart. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not old either. My mind thinks I'm timeless, while my body makes me think otherwise. My heart is filled with silence. I'm usually thinking it means there's something wrong with it. But am I really listening to it?
     Nowadays, everybody seems to be showing the signs of silence within their hearts, one way or another. I see people using their great minds to conquer and enjoy life but only with their minds. People who listen to their bodies' needs and desires, who would do anything for a fuck or a burger. The only time they stop to think about their heart is when there's something wrong with it. And yet, it seems to me that no one can understand the heart through thinking. It just feels like the heart is always left out from our lives, like irony's playing one hell of a trick against us, since you actually need a heart to be alive. More and more each day, though, our minds are constantly finding ways to cut the heart out of all of us, creating technologies that can replace it with battery-operated machinery or by making everyone stay indoors and communicate through wires, making us feel like wooden dolls that need them to become alive and relate with each other.
     There's something wrong with my heart. But words just twist and bend my message, like sunglasses do with the light that hits your face. My words say that my heart has something wrong with it, but it's not what you most likely first thought about. As each day passes, more and more I let my heart get caught in between my mind and my body. It's because of that feeling, which is felt both emotionally and physically at the same time. Makes you feel like you're yourself caught in between reason and animal instinct. But this means that you're experiencing something from a point of view that's not of the mind, nor of the body. So now comes the last and most important question:

     If I can feel something and simply let it hit me like a wave and carry me away with it, but not through my mind and neither through my body, then aren't we wrong to consider that life is just what our minds and bodies say it is?

Bine ai venit, David

Nu aveam de ce să mă îngrijorez, pentru că nimeni în jurul meu nu părea să fie agitat. De fapt, alte griji erau deja puse în față, unele mai superficiale, altele mai profunde. Griji pentru cadouri care trebuiau returnate pentru că proaspeții părinți primiseră deja obiectul respectiv, griji pentru faptul că bebelușul avea o anume grupă sanguină, griji pentru educația pe care o va primi și pentru anturajul în care va trebui să crească, să se dezvolte și să devină.. cineva.

Mi-era foame, mă cam secaseră toate non-sensurile pe care le-am auzit pe drumul până la spital, dar am uitat de toate astea când l-am văzut. Momentul în care toate s-au disipat a fost cât se poate de clar. Nu mai aveam gânduri, nu mai aveam griji, nu mai simțeam nimic decât o căldură distribuită în mod egal în tot corpul, de parcă tocmai îmi luase foc sângele în vene. Am stat cu capul aproape lipit de geamul prin care mă uitam, hipnotizat de un prunc care abia se născuse. Dormea pe spate, cu picioarele crăcănate.

N-o mai văzusem pe noua mămică în starea asta niciodată. I se citeau pe față atât de multe sentimente, toate în același timp, încât mi-a făcut inima să urce până în gât și sa simt că tocmai avusese loc ceva minunat. Acum nu mai era soră, fiică, femeie gravidă. Era mămică. Avea un zâmbet atât de pur și frumos...

Un simplu unchi ca mine nu poate să facă mare lucru, decât să fie fericit. Și pe dinăuntru chiar să plângă de fericire.

Bine ai venit, David...

Tu blog ornatu blog

Ai geast uanted tu sei zet aim caming beac.

Shiiiiiiiii!

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