Don'tstop

When you are a child, you learn to do a lot of stuff and a lot of stuff you don't learn also. Other stuff is needed for different times in your life, so you only learn the basics at start. You try to stand up. It feels unsafe and yet you still try it. Then you try to walk, after a time. Being courageous for a child is like knowing your native language. You then learn that making noises with your mouth does some things. A child is never afraid to laugh, to cry, to play and also to do something serious sounding, like something only adults do around the house. Cleaning after yourself is learned because you wanted to, when you were a child. That is an example of you being a very balanced person, but only because you don'tstop.

After you grow a little more, you become a little more better at everything. Running, jumping, posing, moving silently or even walking straight and balanced is seen like it's all natural for the kid. Which it is, as it slowly becomes even more balanced for him to do something really cool, like sports or dancing, singing, where you have to coordinate your body in tune with the rules, as well as with the tricks. That's when you are also able to understand more within the world surrounding you, but that's also when you learn that you don'tstop.

When you are an adult, you have a huge number of skills you learned along the way and also a huge number of situations have happened to you, to the extend where you have been able to determine patterns exist. You've seen something done a thousand times and from that you can see that most of the times the thing you see being done ended up positively, it was because of those times following a certain pattern. When there were conditions met for that pattern, the results were always positive. So you are able to get along, daily, with the routine stuff that is easily predictable. At this stage in a man's life, he is able to process abstract notions and at least agree with the fact that there is a path in the logic of the abstract. It's as if you know there is still a lot of means of getting to experience consciousness besides the almost primitive and mainly pattern-based form of consciousness that we call the normal. The real. You know the real around you, because it is experienced physically, through senses and memories being stored chemically in your brain. Your physical electromagneticity and mental state is not really the focus of your conscious self. It is more tied to your unconsciousness, but you get a lot of feedback from it and it shows up in your conscious reactions to it. You don't see someone being aggressive, but you kind of have a gut feeling his eyes looking straight at you and seeing his body language. It's like they say in the books, "The guy was being menacing!". Then you get that gut feeling he's a possible threat. You are twitching at this point. The sheer volume of concentration required to monitor that menacing person makes you stumble when walking or get into a menacing stance yourself. It depends on how many times you've seen the situation before. And you've seen it a lot of times. You get the hell out, stand your ground or get beat up or worse, but the gut feeling is there all the time. But that's only because you don'tstop.

But is it true, though? Does all this sound a little too far fetched, though? You think this is not true, not because you don't understand it, but because it doesn't make sense or it is not that convincing, anyway.

Is it because you don'tstop, though?

Senzație

Niciodată nu am avut aspirația unui moment. Ceva cum vezi în filme, când începe o muzică dramatico-romantică și cadre cu ei doi, uitându-se unul la celălalt.

Ea nu zice nimic, eu nu zic nimic, cel puțin nu cu cuvinte. Chiar și când nu mă uit la ea pentru câteva momente, o aud. O simt cum se uită la mine, nu pentru că vrea ceva, ci pentru că își dorește cu toată ființa ei.

E aproape hipnotizant.

Era fetița dinăuntrul ei, care e plină de voioșie și entuziasm.
Era femeia care a ajuns, capabilă și hotărâtă.
Era o jumătate care își căuta perechea.

Atunci am știut că o iubesc. Și nu aveam nevoie să procesez cu mintea logică și prezentă în marea parte a timpului petrecut conștient. Știam că și ea mă iubește, dar nu ca o fază, nu ca în filme.

Am dansat și ne-am fâstâcit. Eram doar noi doi și melodia aia pe care o știm atât de bine.